The kids of all ages are home and you’re going nuts being inside. Well, you don’t have to be a shut-in and what better way to break up the monotony than by going outside? You know, outside. Where trees grow, birds sing in trees and poop on your driveway? Where the sky is usually blue with floating phalluses we call clouds? That’s outside and it’s awesome! And, yes, you are allowed to go outside – just be sure to practice social distancing. Maybe you don’t know what to do once you are out there. Here are a few ideas to get a breath of fresh air and enjoy Nature’s Netflix.
Have a backyard campout.
There is no better way to experience the great outdoors than simulating your own great outdoors. And you don’t need much. Just a tent or tarp, sleeping bags or blankets and mats (or a used mattress from the dumpster down the street). Simple. Make a fire, roast marshmallows, make s’mores, tell ghost stories and maybe download your favorite horror movie sound effects like screams, sound of footsteps, chain saws or the Friday the 13th hehehe hahaha sound effect (I really have no idea how you would spell that, but you get the idea). Need a rainstorm? Turn on the sprinklers. Need some wild animals? Release the hounds. Best yet, you can go to the bathroom – outside – and you don’t need toilet paper. Grab a leaf or a prickly pear pad and you are all set!
But maybe you like that outdoors, but not THAT much. A picnic may perfect for you! With all the restaurants only allowing take out for food and beer, why the heck not?
All you need is a super cool picnic blanket like the Victory Blanket by Nemo. It is waterproof on one side so if you accidently place it in wet grass or dog pee, you are protected. For your beer, make sure you pick it up in a growler so you can get lots and not spill it on your way to your picnic spot. And the best part of a picnic is you can go ANYWHERE! Your local public park, crash a neighborhood park, a water retention area, a mall parking lot (lots of social distancing opportunities there), and so many more! If you need something to do while you are chillin’ to escape it all, be sure to turn off all phones, computers, tablets, etc. and grab a good book like The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton, Love in the Time of Cholera and One Hundred Years of Solitude, both by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or Spillover: Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic by David Quammen. Do you need a book to help you better understand how we arrived at our current situation? Give The Idiot by Feodor Dostoevsky a whirl. Russian tragedies are always a good read.
In all seriousness though, getting outside is the best way for all of us to get through this current bout of insanity (which every time we have a bout of insanity the successor always outdoes the predecessor). There are plenty of outdoors to go around so enjoy!